Called to Live in the Present.

One year ago, I never imagined I would be where I am now. In fact, I thought that I would be beginning to live out my year of service at a place where I felt very comfortable and believed that "called" be there. As a perpetual planner, when I left from Arizona last summer, I was in a place I have never been before: the present. I had wholeheartedly jumped into a long distance relationship, which demanded my presence. I needed to present to the other person in the typical ways a partner cares for the other, but my thoughts had to be in the present and deal with the reality that I didn't know where this would end up going. As the fall turned into winter, things with what I thought was my "calling" weren't working out the ways I thought they would. I began to really reflect on what I wanted and where I wanted to be, so I turned to the only reliable source I knew in times of my internal struggles with my path. 

I asked God to direct me. After many nights of pleading and reflecting, I chose to apply for graduate school. As I dropped my transcript envelopes in the mail to begin their 2,250 mile journey to Arizona, I was uncertain what the outcome would be.  But, I believed and trusted that things would some how work out. And...they did. I'm grateful for where I am today. I'm completely uncertain what the future holds in terms of where I'll be when this part of my journey is over: what my first real job will be, where my first real job will be, and more importantly, where A and I will be. For the first time ever, I'm okay with that. God calls us to incredible things and sometimes they're as simple as living in the present. 

I've realized that I've missed out on a lot by being so futuristic.  Life in the present is better than I ever thought it would be and exactly what I needed. I'm finding myself becoming (little by little...it's a slow process) comfortable with living with a little uncertainty. Don't get me wrong, I'm still preparing for my future, but just in ways that don't cause me to forget to wholeheartedly and intentionally enjoy what I have right now.